How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
