I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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