i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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