If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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