I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
