she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
