I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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