My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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