Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
