Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
