i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
