last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
