He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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