The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize