There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
