Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
