i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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