is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
