Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize