i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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