Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
