Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
God, I missed his penis.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
