I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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