Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
