My hair reeks of homosexuality.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
