Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
how do flat chested girls get laid?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I intend to get homeless drunk
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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