glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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