I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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