The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
