i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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