The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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