do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
