Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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