Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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