I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
