just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
ttyl tear gas
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
