Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize