Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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