Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
