haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
