White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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