shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
