Banned from zoo.
Again?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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