Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
