If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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