I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
