im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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