Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
