i'm lost and i look like a hooker
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
