i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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