Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
