UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
