I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
