Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
