You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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