apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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