I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
how drunk are you?
Several
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
