I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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