she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
