Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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