he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
