Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
