is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
