I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
