...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
