Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
