nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
