I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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