i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
