dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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